Bubbles

A letter from a Daughter

I am sorry—mama and dad..I am sorry for every moment when you offered me your hand and I said: “No, I can handle.” I am sorry for every time when you were willing to drop me to my school and I said—“ No, I’ll go myself”, or, when you wanted to take the pleasure of combing and managing my hair and I would chop it off right to my ears.. Sorry—for each rebellious act I plunged into—I just wanted to grow up to be myself you see!

I left our home—the cozy comfort of forever security and shelter—just to grow up to meet the ‘me’ in me. I left the habit of holding your hand in the crossroads.
How many crossroads have I come across without you –before stopping a while and writing this to you? How many times I fell down, hurt myself and bled and yet got addicted to the taste of unfolding the self.. How many times—before coming to this point and looking back!

No—it’z not that I a picking up my pieces of experience, planning to end my experiment here and come back to my heaven called home—to sit contented with the glimpse of realizations I picked up in the whole journey…. I am not coming back to you right now.
I am not coming back because I know that when you taught me to give the first step to walk, in your heart, you expected me to spread out my wings and fly. I know that when you fed me for the first time, you had the hope of your daughter growing up one day to feed her soul.

With every rise and fall, every hurt and pain—I am spreading my wings gradually and realizing that with each experience I am getting closer to you because when I choose the path of my desire, am but only feeling the feelings that you have sown in me.

–Swastyayan

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